Simply the best

It’s that time of year again, to reflect on the year gone past and what’s in store the year ahead. To say that 2016 was a bummer for many people is an understatement. For some of my friends, their world turned upside down when they lost loved ones too soon. For millions around the world, the prospect of war, famine, natural disasters and political upheaval looms even larger on the horizon, with no end in sight. On a personal level, many of us seniors are battling with health issues, not to mention financial and family conundrums. And so as I consider my own situation heading into my sixth decade, how do I want my life to shape up?

Help, I’m hooked!

My mother was a very determined and accomplished woman, teaching herself to cook and whipping up gourmet meals. Not only that, she was also an excellent seamstress, making her own dresses with tissue-thin sewing patterns (in the days before youtube). She knitted really complicated sweaters, and made me a beautiful cable-knit pullover when I went away to college that I really regret not keeping. She also mastered the art of lace-tatting (yes, there’s actually such a word) and crocheting. All that yarn and those needles used to bamboozle me and I thought it was only for old ladies. But one day I came across some snazzy crochet designs in really vibrant colours, and went on youtube (thank God for youtube) to learn how to crochet, went out and bought some yarn, and now I’m hopelessly hooked.

Catching zzzs

Bedtime is great. I adore the whole ritual of getting into bed fresh from the shower, and turning on my bedside lamp. The temperature in the room is cool so I can snuggle under the covers, open up my kindle and read for awhile till I nod off. I really love my sleep too, falling into deep slumber and waking with hopefully some pleasant dreams and fresh to greet the new day. As I grow older, however, the notion of sleep becomes more complicated, and it can turn into a real nightmare. Literally.

Visiting an old friend

When an old friend came to visit me for a week or so, we decided to make a trip to Penang, an island on the west coast of Malaysia, for a few days. Its capital, Georgetown, has not only gained UNESCO World Heritage status but also remained at the top of travel and holiday sites for a few years running. A short stay in the heritage area convinced us why it is most deserving of all its accolades.

Face facts

I was told I was a really engaging baby, having a sunny disposition and smiling for everyone. Even as a youngster, I would put on performances for the family and keep those around me entertained. Somewhere along the line, maybe when hormones kicked in, I guess I stopped smiling so much, or at all. You know how some people just have a naturally smiley face - well, I’m not one of them. In fact, friends who have been brave enough to tell me to my face say that my countenance can be described by another body part, a particular lady part. I have to agree with them, my face will definitely not launch a thousand ships but probably sink them all.

Hell hath no (greater) fury than a woman starved

Food. Nothing conjures up more tantalizing images for me. Not clothes, not jewelry, not exotic locations (unless they boast delicious local cuisine!), and certainly not sexy bods. There is a reason they call the spectacular visual presentation of food that arouses the desire to eat it food porn. Actually for me, any dish of carefully prepared and presented food, no matter how simple and humble, can be considered pornography for my taste buds.

RIP My Jeans

Before I hit 50, I used to joke that in my old age I would switch to wearing relaxed fit jeans. In my fifties, I did buy a pair of what I thought were pretty comfortable jeans. They were straight cut, sat nicely on the waist and had some give. I took them along when I traveled because they were nicely worn in, hardy and didn’t require constant washing. I haven’t worn them in a while because here in the tropics, it’s just too hot to wear jeans. To my horror, when I tried them on just the other day, they were very snug!

Comfort food, Teochew style

Feeling a little under the weather over the weekend, I rummaged through my pantry, trying to figure out what I could eat to assuage a scratchy throat and the sniffles. A can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup beckoned, usually my go-to meal when there’s nothing else to eat. But I realized that I had enough to fix myself Teochew porridge. A plain rice porridge or congee, accompanied by an assortment of side dishes, instantly made me feel better. To westerners, this might seem like an odd combo of food, but generations of Chinese have enjoyed this comfort food for both breakfast and supper.

Joe always makes me happy!

Just a whiff of Joe and instantly I am transported to a good place. I feel equally mellowed out and elated, ready to take on anything. I’m talking about coffee, of course. A cup of fresh brewed coffee made from fragrant roasted beans, with just a touch of frothy hot milk, always puts me in a good mood. I know people, including my son, B, who don’t drink coffee. B can’t because it gives him headaches. I look upon him pityingly, because although I feel for him when he needs caffeine, life just isn’t quite worth living without coffee.

Navigating old age with my friends

Recently, when I was on a visit to Shanghai, I seemed to see lots of old ladies out on the streets, taking a stroll together, stopping to chat, or just hanging out. Maybe it was the time of year, at the end of summer when there was a nip in the air and everyone seemed to want to catch the last warming rays of the sun. Or maybe it was just me, being acutely conscious of my impending old age and wondering who was going to be around to make the journey with me through our senior years.

Michelle Obama made me cry

Sticks and stones, and words, hurt.

This is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever written. I knew I would write on this subject one day, but I kept putting it off. I dealt with the issue a long time ago but I’ve never addressed it in words like this. What pushed me to write today was watching Michelle Obama give her speech in New Hampshire. In tackling Donald Trump’s abuse of women, her speech resonated with millions of women, not just in the United States. And it struck a chord with me, in a very personal, visceral way. You see, I was once abused myself, physically and emotionally, and kept quiet about it for a long time.

Leftover at 27?

You would think that in this, the seventeenth year of the new millennium when the United States will soon decide on whether they get their first female president, strong, independent, smart and successful women can choose to live their lives on their own terms. But in the largest country in the world, any Chinese woman over the age of 27 who is still single is referred to as sheng nu, or leftover woman. With all the rights that women everywhere have fought so hard for and won, it’s disheartening that so much of society still thinks that if you’re not married, you’re doing something wrong.

Baked BBQ Baby Back Ribs

I used to make a stop at Tony Roma’s, just for their baby back ribs. Juicy, succulent, meat falling off the bone. With just the right hint of smokiness and sweetness. Enjoyed together with their signature coleslaw and corn, it was bbq heaven. While beef ribs are easily available where I live, I used to salivate at the thought of baby backs, which weren’t so readily available. So I was delighted when I saw them at the butchers, and trawled through recipes to find one that would do them justice.

Doing nothing … and loving it.

Long ago, when my son, B, was too little to fully understand what exactly I did all day at the office (copywriting), I told him that I was busy working, to which he retorted, “But you’re not doing anything. You’re just sitting there.” Of course I wasn’t physically “doing” anything, but I was hard at work nonetheless. I also didn’t have enough time for myself because I was running around trying to earn a living, be a mom, a daughter and doing countless other tasks. I would feel guilty if I just paused for a while to take stock and re-charge.

Test, test, cleaning 1, 2, 3

I’ve said it before - I detest cleaning the house. But when a cleaning fit comes over me, I’ll start wiping, scrubbing and polishing and won’t stop till my surfaces are gleaming and my hands all raw. At the hardware store, I’ll always trawl the household cleaning aisles and am a sucker for any product that promises to make cleaning a breeze. Ditto when it comes to household tips as wellI - I’ll want to try out any strange  concoction that promises to get rid of scum or stains or rust. And it’s great when the remedy calls for everyday kitchen products that are just lying around, like baking soda and vinegar.

Making myself at home on Hollywood

That’s right, it’s on, not in, Hollywood. When I visited my son, B, who had just recently moved to Hongkong, his tiny apartment on Hollywood Road became home for a few days. I re-acquainted myself with Nom Nom, his cat, who seemed to have settled in nicely and showed me a new trick or two. I also took to exploring his Sheung Wan neighborhood, and discovered some gems that might escape the eyes of the casual visitor.

If it was good enough for St Laurent, it’s more than good enough for me!

I had a good chuckle recently when I saw in a magazine article that the designer Yves St. Laurent had a snake plant in his glorious Marrakech abode. The picture must have been taken years ago. In the intervening period up till now, the snake plant lost its appeal somewhat, perhaps because it seemed to be everywhere. But it’s definitely made a comeback in recent years, and I see it in home decor and design magazines. It does look very architectural, pointedly reaching up, but what endears the plant to me is its never-say-die attitude. No matter how badly I abuse my snake plants, they just grow. And grow. Which is great for my brown thumbs and bruised ego!

My love/hate relationship. With cleaning.

There I was, perched on the next to top rung of the step ladder, holding on for dear life while I attempted to clean the ceiling fan in my house. In the best of circumstances, my balance isn’t very good. I can fall over while striking a yoga pose in the gym. In fact, my friend, SY, had just told me about her housemaid who was on the ladder cleaning her fan when she lost her balance and snapped off a blade. So, gritting my teeth and sweating buckets, I cleaned the fan and vowed to get a part-time maid in to help me with my chores.

Vadai you want?

Very often, after lunch with friends, I would cruise through a certain street in my old neighborhood. A food truck would be parked there, dispensing freshly fried Indian snack food that, to me, was ridiculously cheap and oh, so delicious, especially with a cup of coffee. I would see fancy cars stopping by, often with chauffeurs popping down to pick up some snacks for themselves (or their bosses). A few different snacks were on offer, but my favourite was the vadai (or vade), a spicy, savory dhall fritter.

Er, what does my pomelo salad have to do with Simone Biles?

I was peeling the pomelo I bought this morning, a football-sized, grapefruit-like fruit that’s encased in thick pith and skin. I was looking forward to having its juicy sweetness add some punch to the Thai salad I was making. As I cut deeper and deeper into the pith, I realized that most of the weight of the fruit was in the pith and what I was left with was a very light, orange-sized fruit that was sour and worse, dried up. “Damn,” I thought to myself. “What was I going to serve up now?” Then I remembered the interview Golden Girl Simone Biles just gave.

Etiquette shaming - a sign of the times?

My friend, K, recounted how she once absent-mindedly entered an elevator without looking, only to be told off by the man exiting. Not only did he admonish her for not letting people out of the elevator first before entering, but he did so in an expletive-laden rant. She was so stunned that she didn’t even have time to apologize or explain. I’m on the side of K on this one. She really didn’t mean to be rude but wasn’t even given the opportunity to apologize. And to people out there who say that the man had every right to tell her off, what happened to “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything”?

Mieng Kham - An explosion of flavors in one mouthful!

I love Thai food in all its variations - the spicy tom yums and curries, flavorful grilled meats and seafood, and noodles of course. What I like the most are Thai salads, a unique combination of different salad leaves and fruits, piquant herbs and often shredded meat as well.  The flavours all meld together in mouth-watering combinations that whet the appetite, leaving you craving for more. The appeal of Thai food can be summed up in a neat little package called Mieng Kham. You can just pop in your mouth for an explosion of favours - sweet, sour, spicy and bitter all at once!

Plants in all their glory - Singapore Garden Festival 2016

When I needed to be in Singapore this week, I made sure to check out the Singapore Garden Festival at the Gardens By The Bay. As with all things organized in the island republic, the festival was superbly laid out to showcase the best. My time was limited so I only had a few hours to spend there but I could have easily spent the entire day there to cover all that was on display. I only have three words for it - stunning, stunning, stunning!

Counting my pennies

The other day when I was helping my son, B, pack up his apartment in Singapore for his imminent career move to Hongkong, I noticed a huge pile of coins on his sideboard. “What are you going to do about all these coins?” I asked. On previous visits, I had already taken note of the coins and tried to spend them as much as I could, on newspapers, bus fare and the like. Now that he was moving, there were just too many coins to dispose of. Not for the first time, I wondered at how young people nowadays seemed to disdain things like small change, like they were not worthy of their attention.

The grass is always greener … ?

A flowering rosemary bush in Melbourne

I had a good laugh when friends from Melbourne stayed with me recently. They kept ooh-ing and aah-ing over my modest collection of mother-in-law's tongue succulents. In my tiny collection of plants on the apartment balcony, they’re the only ones that aren’t in danger of my killing them! In fact, I have to constantly prune them back and repot them because they grow pretty easily in the hot climate here. It wasn’t until I made a quick visit to Melbourne myself a couple of weeks back that I discovered that what I consider really common plants here are being sold for many times more in Australia!

Lessons in the kitchen - keep a trusty knife

Someone who recently went to Japan told me that a friend of hers had asked her to pick up a Japanese knife for him, one that was specially made for slicing meat. After visiting several shops that specialize only in knives (Japan being world famous for its knives and Samurai swords!), she decided that choosing a knife is a very personal matter. You have to see if its blade suits your slicing style, and feel if it fits well in your hand. And so she told him that he’d better choose the knife for himself. Me, I just use a cheap, old Chinese chopping cleaver for just about all the cutting, slicing and chopping that I do.

Pleased with Pilates

I’m lying on the mat in the gym, breathing in deeply through my nose and out through my mouth in a whoosh. In my mind, I run through some of the Pilates exercises I’ve learned through the years in classes. At the moment, I don’t go for any of the Pilates classes held at the gym because their scheduled times don’t suit me, but I make sure to include some of the exercises in my gym routine. I look forward to some of them, especially the stretches, after a rigorous cardio workout, but others are downright challenging and can have me sweating and quivering. But one thing’s for sure, Pilates has made my body stronger, more flexible and toned.

Remembering the silly stuff

I usually can’t even remember what I ate yesterday and where I parked my car at the mall. I have to constantly write notes to remind myself what items to pick up at the supermarket and when my scheduled appointments are. While most of my friends are in the same boat when it comes to short term memory loss, they’re absolute encyclopedias about events that happened to us decades ago. Like who scored how many As in our school exam and who dated whom. I wish I could recall some of those things that they insist happened to us all, but the truth is that I simply can’t remember most of it.

Mahjong Mates

Four women sitting around a square table, squinting their eyes in concentration, busily strategizing, occasionally chiding one another, often breaking up in laughter. An important brainstorming session? A business meeting? Hardly, as we’re all in casual clothes. It’s just another mahjong session with my mates, one that we’ve been having for many years.

Forgetful old fool

I kind of vaguely recalled that I had written something about forgetfulness, but couldn't really remember what it was. Thankfully, it was in my archives (you can check it out if you're interested - it's entitled "Forget about it") and I had to re-acquaint myself with the post.

There’s no getting around it. As I head into my sixties, I just have to admit that I’m becoming more than absent-minded. I’m just a forgetful old fool. I misplace things, or worse, keep something important in what I consider a safe place and then totally forget where I put it. I can’t remember what I did a few days ago, and who I did it with. Of course, every time I’m afflicted with a case of forgetfulness, I pause and wonder if it’s the onset of the dreaded Alzheimer’s.

Of course I know it's not, but all I can do is laugh about it with friends who are similarly afflicted with forgetfulness, and just remind ourselves that alas, it's just a part of growing old. In the meantime, enjoy this hilarious video:

Pomelo salad with roast chicken

Some of the ladies in a recent gardening group potluck lunch asked for the recipe for a pomelo salad I made. I normally include either roast duck or turkey in the salad, but this time I used roast chicken instead, and it tasted just as good. I also added in some Thai basil which added its distinctive character as well. You can really just about add any of your favourite vegetables to the salad, like chopped up and julienned cabbage, snake beans, jicama or carrots. Just make more of the dressing.



Pomelo salad with roast chicken

Ingredients:
- 1 cup roast chicken meat, shredded
- 1 cup pomelo chunks (can be substituted with grapefruit)
- 1 cup roughly chopped coriander and mint (other salad leaves can be added or substituted, depending on your preference)
- 3 - 4 stalks of finely chopped lemongrass (use only the tender inner leaves)
- 3 - 4 shallots, finely sliced
- 2 tablespoons dried shrimp, toasted and chopped roughly
- 2 tablespoons cashewnuts or peanuts, toasted and chopped roughly

For the dressing:
- Juice of 2 limes
- 2 tablespoons fish sauce
- 2 tablespoons palm sugar, dissolved in hot water (can be substituted with brown sugar or honey)
- 1 chilli, chopped finely (more can be added, or omitted entirely, to taste)
- A dash of peanut oil

Method:
Make the dressing, and adjust accordingly to taste.
Assemble the salad ingredients, adding the dried shrimp and nuts at the last minute so they retain their crunch.
Toss with dressing and serve immediately.

Gardening tips for idiots

It’s only been recently when I joined an online gardening group that I’ve picked up a few tips on plants. Before that, I kind of just planted them, watered and fertilized them. Occasionally I changed the soil, using a standard potting mix that I bought in the nurseries or hardware stores. Now that I’ve been reading plant blogs and you tube videos, I’m beginning to realize that, idiot that I am, I don’t know anything about plants! Like you should use a cactus mix instead of normal potting mix for succulents. No wonder all of mine died!

Gardening for joy

I have green fingers, meaning I can just about grow green, leafy plants where I’ve failed miserably at flowers and fruits. Fortunately, nothing delights me more than the sight of lush greenery. Nothing too manicured or trimmed for me. I’m happy to just let foliage thrive, although a neighbor has complained that my balcony of plants looks unkempt. I prefer to think of it as looking natural and lush!

Exercise - fad or commitment?

I had great fun the other day listening to my old friends talk about getting on their exercise machine at home after letting it sit there for more years than they can remember. While other friends regularly work out at the gym, join marathons and cycle more than 100km every weekend, this couple has largely lived sedentary lives. They recounted how they only lasted just about five minutes on the elliptical machine but good-naturedly said it was a start. I agree. No matter how late in life we start exercising, the important thing is to keep moving.

I tweet, therefore I am?

We've all quoted Descartes often enough, but perhaps we're doing a lot online that we're not even thinking really hard enough about. Younger folk might find it hard to imagine, but there was a time, not too long ago, when people didn't share their every waking moment with literally millions of complete strangers. Do I feel the need to post what I have for breakfast, a new hairdo I try or every dish that comes my way in a restaurant, together with the ubiquitous pictures that go out there in cybersphere for all eternity?

Life hacks and other lessons

Don’t you find it annoying when you buy new dishes or glasses, only to have problems peeling off the stickers at the bottom of them? I try carefully peeling them off, only to have bits still sticking on. I’ve tried scrubbing them to no avail. Very often, I’ve just given up and left them on. Then I discovered this tip!

Give credit where credit is due

Many of us can't imagine our lives without credit cards. Almost without thinking, we take it out to pay for purchases from groceries to gas. With the advent of internet transactions and online shopping, the credit card has become indispensable. I use mine to book and pay for airline tickets, movies, insurance as well as online purchases.  Services such as Uber is totally cashless and you need to have a credit card to use it. So can we live without it?

Duck! - My death row meal

You've heard it often enough that people pick a favorite childhood dish if they had to choose their last meal on earth. A juicy steak, a generous hamburger with all the trimmings, their mother's meatloaf. I guess it all comes down to having a meal that conjures up good times and a warm environment, a dish that's been prepared with love and care. It's no wonder then that my death row meal is a duck soup with salted vegetables.

More than 50 shades of grey - a thesaurus for colors

I love colors, not just the primary ones that we learned in kindergarten like red, blue, green and yellow, but all the shades in between. Even if we think the rainbow is made up of only seven colors, there are so many more, nuances between each one infinitesimally small. I also love words, descriptive words that can describe the many different oranges and pinks of a sunset, or the greens of a forest. Now someone has put it all together, in a color thesaurus!

Going on holiday with friends - boon or bane?

One good way to spoil a beautiful friendship is to go on holiday with your best pal. Trust me, I know and have learned from experience. Instead of rest and relaxation, you could end up with rows and recriminations, and a long friendship in ruins. But there is a way to have a really good time traveling with friends. You just have to figure out how.

At the end, how do we say goodbye?

This has been one of the hardest posts for me to write. A dear friend's husband, L,  passed away suddenly, leaving everyone shell-shocked and heartbroken. There was no warning, no preparation. Most painfully, there was no time for goodbye. Everyone was, of course, wishing for an opportunity to bid a proper farewell, for time to say all that needed to be said. But such is life that we really don't know when our time is up.  We can only hope that when we do go, our affairs are in order. We want to prepare those around us for the eventuality of our demise. Everyone imagines the "last conversation" they'll have with loved ones, but how many of us do get that chance, and even when we have it, know what to say?

Family holidays - how to avoid the pitfalls

Travel has always held me in its thrall, whether it's been a spur-of-the-moment car ride out to the countryside, or an epic journey across the world that involved tons of logistical planning and saving up for. I've pretty much done all of the above at different times in my life with different family members and while it can be great fun, it can also be nightmarish.

Brush up on the best cleaning aid

I'm the world's laziest housekeeper. I choose not to see dirt in the house and avoid cleaning whenever possible. I can spend hours tending to my little garden, but ask me to sweep, vacuum or mop and I'll find every opportunity to put it off. I wear house slippers so that I don't feel the sticky floor in dire need of mopping. It's only when I see dust balls flying around or scum building up on bathroom walls that I finally bring out my cleaning supplies. Once I start cleaning, though, it's as if I'm channeling Martha Stewart and I can spend hours wiping, scouring and scrubbing. I turn into a cleaning dervish that gleefully attacks all kinds of dirt. Which is why I love, love, love my faithful scrubbing brush.

Don't be coy about soy

A friend sent me an article (in the Huffington Post, no less!) warning readers not to take too much soy, whether in its raw form like edamame, processed into tofu and tempeh or as soy milk. It goes on to present the darker side of soy as it contains isoflavanes which can disrupt the estrogen system. The article concludes by exhorting everyone to treat soy the same way you would sugar, alcohol and caffeine. I'm a lover of soy in any form, so is it any wonder that this article has raised my hackles?

Is mothering a thankless task?

The other day, I had lunch with some old friends, one of whom brought her daughter. G, a remarkably smart, mature and engaging 24 year old, asked us if we thought motherhood was really all that it was cut out to be. Those of us who are mothers nodded sagely while S who's single just smiled. That got me wondering about whether we're the only ones in the animal kingdom who really have a choice about parenthood.

What does age-appropriate dressing mean, really?

I told myself a long time ago that when I got older and didn't feel the urge to wear figure-hugging clothes anymore, mostly because I would happily let it all hang out, I would get myself relaxed-fit jeans. Now that I've reached the age of relaxed-fit everything, I'm so happy that there are gym clothes and casuals in soft cottons that have drawstring waists. They're not only relaxed-fit but can also be let loose to accommodate huge meals!

Making light work of leftover duck

In the aftermath of Chinese New Year feasts, my fridge is filled to the brim with food. It's really a sin to waste anything and I'm loathe to just toss food away. I do freeze some of it, to be savored at a later date when I'm not feeling so stuffed with New Year goodies. A comfort soup made with the carcasses of various meats. A simple pasta with leftovers. For now, though, especially in the hot weather, I'm craving something light and citrusy, to counter all the rich food I've been enjoying.

Making pineapple tarts from scratch

There I am, standing at the stove with sweat dripping down my legs, and stirring, stirring the pot of pineapple jam for hours, asking myself, "Why do I bother?" It's not as if I'm a huge fan of sweet stuff, and I could easily just go pick up some store-bought pineapple tarts that magically appear everywhere in the run-up to Chinese New Year. But then again, I don't really prepare anything else for the celebration, and my son, B, is a fan of the tarts. So I am attempting, yet again, to make pineapple tarts, from scratch.

Travel for travel's sake

Making friends with two little boys in Laos

I love to travel. Ever since I was a little girl and was taken on seaside holidays with my family, I've enjoyed the excitement of planning and packing, and then hitting the road. Nowadays I just want to explore as much of the world as I can. Like Robert Louis Stevenson, "I travel not to go anywhere but to go." New places not look and sound different, they also smell wonderfully foreign. I've learned a lot over the years about how to make holidays more enjoyable, mostly from my own mistakes and by talking to others. I've written before about what to pack and how to plan for a trip, but here is my take on a mindset and attitude to adopt when embarking on a trip.

Simplifying my life by going digital

I've already said that there's nothing wrong with technology, only the way in which we use it. Social media is a great way to stay in touch, make new friends and find out more about what interests me. Now, with technology on the rise, it's easier than ever for me to save time and money by going digital.